Depersonalization and derealization are two of the most frightening trauma responses — not because they are dangerous, but because they make you feel disconnected from reality, from your body, or from yourself.

Many survivors describe these states as:

• “I don’t feel real.”
• “My body doesn’t feel like mine.”
• “Everything looks foggy or dream-like.”
• “I’m watching my life from outside myself.”
• “The world feels hollow or far away.”

At Little River Psychological Services, we teach a grounding truth:

Depersonalization and derealization are protective states. Your mind creates distance when reality becomes too overwhelming to stay fully present.

These experiences can feel terrifying, but they are not signs of “going crazy.” They are signs of a nervous system trying to survive what it cannot fully process.

What Is Depersonalization?

Depersonalization is a form of dissociation where you feel detached from:

• Your Body
• Your Thoughts
• Your Emotions
• Your Voice
• Your Sense of Identity

Survivors often say:

• “I feel like I’m floating outside my body.”
• “My hands or face feel unfamiliar.”
• “I hear myself talk, but it doesn’t feel like me.”
• “I feel robotic — like I’m on autopilot.”

Your body may feel numb or altered. Your movements may feel distant, slow, or unreal.

Depersonalization = disconnection from self.

What Is Derealization?

Derealization is a form of dissociation where the world feels unreal, distorted, or dream-like.

Common descriptions include:

• “The room feels far away.”
• “Everything looks flat or two-dimensional.”
• “Colors seem dull, muted, or too bright.”
• “Sounds feel distorted or echoey.”
• “People feel like characters in a movie.”

You may feel like you’re dreaming, underwater, or moving through fog.

Derealization = disconnection from the world around you.

Why These States Happen

Depersonalization and derealization often occur during:

• overwhelming fear
• emotional overload
• conflict
• panic attacks
• moments of helplessness
• trauma reminders
• chronic stress
• sensory overload
• exhaustion

The nervous system activates a shutdown response called dorsal vagal activation, where consciousness becomes muted and awareness becomes distant (Porges, 2011).

This is the body’s way of saying:

“This is too much — let me create distance so you can get through it.”

You are not losing your mind. You are experiencing a biological survival reflex.

The Neurobiology Behind It

When a threat feels escapable → the body goes into fight or flight. When a threat feels inescapable → the body goes into freeze, numb, or disconnect.

Depersonalization and derealization are linked to:

Decreased limbic system activity

Your emotional system goes offline to prevent overwhelm.

Increased prefrontal cortex control

You become overly analytical, detached, and “in your head.”

Shutdown of interoception

Your ability to feel internal sensations is muted.

Changes in visual + auditory pathways

Perception becomes altered to reduce impact and intensity.

Stress hormone dysregulation

Cortisol spikes can disrupt sensory processing.

This is the same biological system that helps animals survive trauma by shutting down awareness of pain.

How These States Develop

Depersonalization and derealization often begin in childhood, especially when:

• Emotions Were Not Safe to Express
• Caregivers Were Unpredictable or Frightening
• Children Faced Violence, Racism, or Bullying
• There Was No Comforting Adult to Help Regulate
• Children Had to "Tough it Out" Alone
• A Child Was Shamed for Feeling Fear or Pain had to “tough it out” alone

When children cannot escape physically, they escape internally.

The mind becomes a refuge.

Why These Experiences Intensify in Adulthood

Even after leaving unsafe environments, survivors may still disconnect during:

• Conflict
• Intimacy
• Emotional Conversations
• Loud or Chaotic Environments
• Work Stress
• Crowds
• Medical Settings
• Memories or Flashbacks
• Moments of Joy or Vulnerability

This is because adulthood often brings greater responsibility, relationships, emotional triggers, and reduced quiet time — all of which can stir old survival patterns.

Your mind is not confused — it is vigilant.

BIPOC Context: A Systemic Lens

Depersonalization and derealization show up differently in Black and Indigenous communities.

For Black communities

These states may emerge from:

• racial vigilance
• chronic microaggressions
• community trauma
• family systems that discourage emotional expression
• “strong Black” or “don’t let them see you react” conditioning
• hyper-surveillance in public spaces
• police trauma or threat of violence

Derealization becomes a shield when reality is exhausting or unsafe.

For Indigenous communities

These states often reflect:

• ancestral trauma
• loss of land and cultural grounding
• boarding school trauma inherited through family lines
• spiritual disconnect
• communal grief and historical oppression
• suppression of ceremony, language, and identity

Depersonalization can reflect a disconnect from self — but also from land, spirit, and story.

None of this is pathology. All of it is survival.

How These States Affect Daily Life

Survivors often experience:

Mind

• Difficulty Focusing
• Foggy Thinking
• Disorientation
• Feeling Emotionally Flat
• Difficulty Remembering Conversations

Body

• Numbness
• Lightness or Heaviness
• Feeling "Disconnected" From Limbs
• Reduced Sensation
• Distorted Perception

Relationships

• Detachment During Intimacy
• Difficulty Connecting Emotionally 
• Fear of Being "Too Much"
• Zoning Out During Conflict
• Withdrawing When Loved Ones Need Closeness

Self

• Uncertainty About Identity
• Feeling Loke Multiple Versions of Yourself
• “Drifting” Through Life
• Feeling Like an Observer, Not a Participant

These are adaptations, not defects.

Healing Depersonalization & Derealization

The goal is not to force yourself to “snap out of it.”

The goal is to help your nervous system feel safe enough to stay in your body.

At Little River Psychological Services, healing includes:

Grounding + Sensory Work

Anchoring back into sight, sound, touch, movement.

Somatic Therapy

Gentle body-based work to reawaken interoception.

Stabilization Before Trauma Processing

We never dive into memories until dissociation is regulated.

Cultural + Land-Based Healing

Land medicine, ceremony, prayer, ancestral connection, and earth-based grounding restore presence.

Relationship and Community Co-Regulation

Safe people help anchor your nervous system.

Dreamwork & Internal Reconnection

Dream exploration helps integrate self-fragments and restore inner continuity.

Shadow + Parts Work

These states are treated as protectors — younger emotional parts who stepped forward when you needed safety.

Healing is possible. Presence is a skill your body can slowly relearn.

If You Need Support Right Now

· 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call/text 988

· BlackLine: 1-800-604-5841

· Crisis Text Line: Text HOME or CONNECT to 741741

· Native-focused support: Text NATIVE

· IHS Suicide Prevention: https://www.ihs.gov/suicideprevention

You deserve grounding, presence, and a body that feels like home.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.).

Hunter, E. C. M., & Sparrow, M. (2012). Emotion processing in depersonalization disorder. Psychiatry Research, 197(3), 295–300.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. Norton.

Simeon, D., & Abugel, J. (2006). Feeling unreal: Depersonalization disorder and the loss of the self. Oxford University Press.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin.