What Dissociation Actually Is

Dissociation is one of the most misunderstood trauma responses — and one of the most important to understand.

For many survivors, dissociation is not a choice, not a flaw, and not a sign of being “crazy.” It is the mind’s way of protecting you when something is too overwhelming, too frightening, or too painful to fully experience.

At Little River Psychological Services, we offer this grounding truth:

Dissociation is not a weakness. It is the mind’s emergency escape hatch — a survival tool the body created when you needed protection the most.

Dissociation is a natural, biological response. It becomes problematic only when it becomes chronic, involuntary, or interruptive in daily life — often long after the danger has passed.

What Dissociation Feels Like

Dissociation can look and feel different depending on the person and the situation.

Survivors often describe experiences such as:

• “I feel far away from myself.”
• “My body is here, but my mind isn’t.”
• “I zone out and lose chunks of time.”
• “Everything feels foggy or unreal.”
• “It’s like watching my life from the outside.”
• “I shut down automatically — I don’t even notice until afterward.”
• “I don’t feel connected to my emotions or my body.”

Because dissociation is internal, it often goes unnoticed — even by the person experiencing it.

Many people mistake dissociation for:

• Daydreaming
• Spacing out
• Being “disconnected” or “cold”
• Being “unemotional”
• ADHD-type inattention
• Depression
• Fatigue

But dissociation is different.

Dissociation is the nervous system shifting away from the present moment to keep you safe.

Why the Mind Dissociates

To understand dissociation, you must understand the body’s survival system.

When something overwhelming happens — violence, threat, shock, fear, abuse — the nervous system activates survival responses:

• Fight
• Flight
• Freeze
• Fawn
• Fold (Collapse)

Dissociation is especially connected to the freeze and collapse responses.

Research shows that when escape is impossible and fighting back would be dangerous, the body shifts into a protective state where awareness becomes dimmed, muted, or distant (Schauer & Elbert, 2010; van der Kolk, 2014).

This is not something you choose. It is something your body does for you.

Your mind steps away so you can survive what your body cannot stop.

Types of Dissociation

Dissociation is not one single thing. It includes several different experiences:

Emotional Dissociation

You feel numb, muted, or disconnected from your emotions. This often shows up as:

• “I don’t feel anything.”
• “It’s like emotions happen behind glass.”
• “I shut down when things get intense.”

Depersonalization

You feel detached from your own body, thoughts, or identity. Survivors describe it as:

• “I’m floating outside myself.”
• “My hands don’t feel like mine.”
• “I hear my voice but it doesn’t feel like me speaking.”

Derealization

The world around you feels distant, foggy, or unreal. People often say:

• “Things look dream-like.”
• “It feels like I’m watching life through a filter.”

Time Loss / “Losing Hours”

You realize a significant amount of time has passed without memory of what happened.

Protective Zoning Out

Your mind “checks out” during stress, confrontation, or emotional intensity.

Trauma-Related Fragmentation

Not DID — but everyday splitting into roles, “parts,” or versions of yourself to survive trauma or overwhelming environments.

All of these are part of the dissociation spectrum.

Why Dissociation Starts in Childhood

Many forms of dissociation begin early in life, especially when children grow up with trauma.

Children dissociate when:

• Adults are unpredictable
• Home is unsafe
• Emotional needs are ignored
• They witness violence
• They endure physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• They face racism, bullying, or chronic fear
• They are forced to grow up too soon

Because children cannot leave, fight, or protect themselves, dissociation becomes their shield.

Later, as adults, that shield may still activate — even in situations that are no longer dangerous.

This is not regression. This is unfinished survival energy.

Dissociation in Black and Indigenous Communities

Dissociation must be understood within cultural and historical context.

Black communities may dissociate because:

• Constant racial vigilance
• Generational trauma from enslavement
• Microaggressions and daily fear
• “Strong Black” expectations that silence emotion
• Hypervigilance around police or authority
• Cultural pressures to endure without complaint

Dissociation becomes a form of self-protection when the world does not feel safe in your skin.

Indigenous communities may dissociate because:

• Historical trauma from boarding schools
• Family and community trauma rooted in colonization
• Grief tied to land loss and cultural erasure
• MMIW/MMIP crisis
• Trauma around unsafe medical or institutional systems
• Generational stories of violence carried in the nervous system

For Indigenous survivors, dissociation may also reflect a spiritual disconnect — a separation from land, ceremony, or ancestral grounding.

Neither of these patterns are individual failures. They are responses to historical and present-day conditions.

How Dissociation Shows Up in Adult Life

Common experiences include:

• Feeling distant in conversations
• Forgetting what was said moments before
• “Autopilot” behavior
• Memory gaps under stress
• Emotional shutdown during conflict
• Feeling like you’re not “fully there”
• Disconnecting during sexual intimacy
• Feeling floaty, foggy, or unreal
• Going silent when overwhelmed
• Difficulty recalling trauma details
• Feeling separate from your younger self
• Choosing things without remembering why

These patterns are not personality flaws. They are trauma-shaped survival patterns.

Healing Dissociation

Healing dissociation is not about forcing yourself to “stay present.” It is about creating safety inside the body so presence becomes possible.

At Little River Psychological Services, we guide clients through:

Understanding Their Nervous System

Learning why dissociation happens reduces shame and fear.

Building Somatic Safety

Gentle grounding, breathwork, interoception, and body-based awareness help the nervous system feel safe enough to stay in the present.

Stabilization First

We never dive into trauma processing until your system is ready. Stability, grounding, and safety come before exploration.

Connection and Co-Regulation

Healing involves safe relationships — with self, community, and trusted people.

Cultural and Ancestral Grounding

Land, ceremony, prayer, storytelling, body sovereignty, and dreamwork support reconnection.

Working With “Parts” (Non-Pathologizing)

We treat dissociated “parts” or versions of yourself as protectors — not problems.

Dream-Based Healing

Dreams often integrate fragmented emotions and experiences symbolically, without overwhelm.

Therapy does not try to “stop” dissociation. We help the body learn new ways to stay safe.

If You Need Support Right Now

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call/text 988
• BlackLine: 1-800-604-5841
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME or CONNECT to 741741
• Native-focused support: Text NATIVE
• IHS Suicide Prevention: https://www.ihs.gov/suicideprevention

You are not alone. Your dissociation is not a defect — it is a map of what you survived.

References 

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.).

Schauer, M., & Elbert, T. (2010). Dissociation following traumatic stress. Journal of Psychology, 218(2), 109–127.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin.

Yehuda, R., Daskalakis, N. P., et al. (2015). Biological factors associated with resilience to trauma. American Journal of Psychiatry, 172(7), 617–629.