What Dissociation Really Is (and Why It Happens)

Dissociation is one of the most misunderstood trauma responses. People often say:

“I feel spaced out.”
“I lose chunks of time.”
“I feel like I’m watching myself.”
“It’s like I’m here, but not really here.”
“My body feels far away.”

For many survivors, dissociation feels frightening only because no one ever explained what it actually is.

Here’s the truth:

Dissociation is a protection system. It is the brain’s way of helping you survive overwhelming experiences.

You are not “crazy.” Your mind is not broken. Your brain did exactly what it was designed to do in impossible situations.

What Dissociation Feels Like

Dissociation can show up differently for everyone. Some common forms include:

Feeling Numb or Frozen

Your emotions may feel distant or muted.

Feeling “Unreal”

Your body or surroundings may feel dreamlike, foggy, or far away.

Losing Time

You might forget what happened during stressful moments or hours.

Automatic Pilot

You may move through your day but feel detached from your actions.

Emotional Blanking

Your brain may turn off feelings that are too overwhelming.

Out-of-Body Sensations

You might feel like you’re observing yourself from outside your body.

These symptoms are not signs of weakness. They are signs of survival.

Why the Brain Uses Dissociation

Think of dissociation as an internal safety mechanism. When your brain senses danger, it checks for your options:

Can you fight?
Can you run?
Can you call for help?

If the answer is no — if the danger feels inescapable, especially for children — the brain activates the dissociation system.

This is called the freeze or shutdown response, part of the dorsal vagal system (Porges, 2011).

Dissociation helps you:

Feel less pain
Avoid overwhelming fear
Endure trauma you could not physically escape
Survive events that your mind could not fully process

This response is especially common during:

Childhood sexual abuse
Domestic violence
Rape or sexual assault
Medical trauma
Chronic emotional or verbal abuse
Neglect
Accidents
Military trauma
Racial trauma
Situations involving threat, humiliation, or powerlessness

Your brain dissociated to keep you alive.

Dissociation in Black and Indigenous Communities

Dissociation is not only a personal trauma response — it can be shaped by historical and cultural trauma.

Many Black and Indigenous survivors describe dissociation that feels ancestral:

Feeling “gone” during conflict
Feeling disconnected from their own voice
Feeling emotionally muted around police or authority
Going numb in racist environments
“Leaving the body” during discrimination
Feeling blank during medical appointments
Losing time during high stress
Feeling like they’re watching life, not living it

These responses reflect:

Generations of survival under violence
Boarding school trauma
Enslavement trauma
Lynching and racial terror
Forced displacement
Family separation
Colonization
Ongoing systemic racism

Research confirms that racial trauma produces dissociation-like symptoms (Mosley et al., 2020), and historical trauma impacts current nervous system functioning (Hill, 2009).

Your dissociation may carry both personal and ancestral layers.

You’re not imagining that. Your body remembers.

Types of Dissociation

Dissociation exists on a spectrum (ISSTD, 2011). Common types include:

Depersonalization
Feeling disconnected from your body or sense of self.
Derealization
Feeling disconnected from the world around you — like life is foggy, unreal, or dreamlike.
Dissociative Amnesia
Trouble remembering trauma or significant parts of your childhood.
Spacing Out or “Checking Out”
A low-level dissociation that appears during stress, conflict, or overstimulation.
Identity Disruption

Feeling different “parts” inside you that handle different emotions or memories. (This does not automatically mean Dissociative Identity Disorder.)

All of these are valid trauma responses.

Dissociation vs. Daydreaming

People often confuse dissociation with daydreaming.

Daydreaming is gentle, voluntary, and creative. Dissociation is automatic, protective, and rooted in overwhelm.

The brain does not dissociate because you're distracted — it dissociates because it feels threatened.

How Dissociation Affects Daily Life

Dissociation can make daily living feel difficult:

Trouble remembering conversations
Forgetting appointments or tasks
Feeling disconnected from emotions
Difficulty staying present with loved ones
Feeling “foggy” or confused
Losing track of time
Feeling detached in therapy
Feeling ashamed or afraid of the symptoms

Many survivors blame themselves:

“Why can’t I stay focused?”
“Why do I shut down?”
“I feel broken.”

But dissociation is not a flaw — it is a nervous system strategy.

How Dissociation Is Treated

Healing dissociation is gentle, slow, and grounded. It focuses on safety, connection, and integration.

At Little River Psychological Services, dissociation treatment includes:

Building a Felt Sense of Safety

Your body must feel safe before trauma can be processed.

Grounding and Somatic Practices

Including breathwork, sensory grounding, cold water, warmth, textures, and movement.

Stabilization Before Trauma Processing

You should never be rushed into EMDR, exposure, or memory work before your nervous system is ready.

Parts Work (IFS-Informed or Ego State Work)

Honoring the “parts” of you that learned to survive.

Cultural Anchors

Traditional practices often bring survivors back into their bodies:

Drumming
Water rituals
Prayer
Song
Ceremony
Storytelling
Touching the earth
Ancestral grounding practices

Dream Work

Dissociation affects sleep and dreams, and dreams can help restore connection.

Regulation Before Integration

We build capacity first. Then we explore the trauma — only when your system is ready.

If dissociation becomes overwhelming:

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME or CONNECT to 741741
Native Text Line: Text NATIVE to 741741
BlackLine: Call/text 1-800-604-5841
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call/text 988
IHS Suicide Prevention: https://www.ihs.gov/suicideprevention

You deserve support that understands trauma, culture, and the nervous system.

References

Hill, D. L. (2009). Relationship between sense of coherence and health among American Indians. Journal of Transcultural Nursing, 20(2), 138–147.

International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. (2011). Guidelines for treating dissociative identity disorder in adults.

Mosley, D. V., et al. (2020). Critical consciousness of anti‐Black racism: A practical model for black psycho‐sociocultural wellness. Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, 48(4), 251–267.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. W. W. Norton.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2014). SAMHSA’s concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach.

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